I was reading in 2 Samuel the other day and came to chapter 13 which contains the tragic story of Amnon, one of King David's sons, who was so consumed with his own wants that he raped his sister Tamar and then discarded her. What caught my attention this time was not the two siblings involved so much as the role of their father, David. The Bible records
"When King David heard all this, he was furious." (vs. 21)
And then silence.
Nothing more is said about David's response to this crime against his daughter and we read on to find that her brother, Absalom, ultimately takes revenge on Amnon.
It's possible to speculate all kinds of reasons for David's lack of response here. Perhaps his own sins mocked him at this point (after all, he was an adulterer and murderer himself); perhaps he felt guilt because he had sent Tamar to Amnon that night; perhaps it was that the state of his kingdom had him too fully preoccupied to give it his attention. Whatever the reason, David did nothing, and it led to the ultimate loss of another son*, the irreversible disgrace of a daughter, and the unsettled loyalties of his kingdom.
What's the lesson to learn here?
The NIV Life Application Bible makes this observation:
"Parents contribute good or evil by action or inaction in the lives of their children." (page 467)
As a parent (and as a person), David is a prime and public example of how both action and inaction contributed to a negative past for his family. His were actions that affected the past of both his own immediate family and a nation as a whole. Do we know the ripples our own actions (or inactions) are capable of carrying?
It's a pattern today to assign blame and with it to try to pass off personal responsibility. And while there may be reasons we can pinpoint that color our thinking or have shaped our character, it's also time to take up the responsibility of the impact we have on those around us. Each word, each action, each response (or lack thereof) puts a mark for good or for bad on someone's past. If we are contributing hurt and criticism and doubt, some else's past is going to be the worse for it. And if our silence or inattention misses an opportunity for correction or for encouragement, the effects may be just as detrimental.
But the good news is that it's never too late to try to contribute to a better past for ourselves, for our families and for each person we come in contact with on a daily basis. Jesus promises to make all things new and David's psalms often express the wonder and the faithfulness of God's forgiveness. It doesn't mean God makes all things perfect - there may be time and effort that is necessary to healing harm done by our past - but He offers a solid foundation for building a better past.
Let's put the past in perspective and be intentional about making it better for everyone we encounter, both in what we do and in what we don't do.
"Finally, brothers and sisters, rejoice! Strive for full restoration, encourage one another, be of one mind, live in peace. And the God of love and peace will be with you." (2 Corinthians 13:11)
*Absalom ran away after murdering his brother, remained in hiding for three years, then returned but was forbidden the king's presence, led a rebellion against his father, and was ultimately killed himself by a supporter of David. And David's response to Absalom's crimes almost cost him his army's support, too.
